An Apology, to Good Muslims

As you may have noticed, I've been slowly changing attitudes, since I turned my heart back over to Jesus, or rather,

I should say, He's been changing my attitudes. Really working in me, one, for healing and two, to see through HIS eyes, rather than just mine. Its funny because when you see the world through His eyes, you see more than just what meets the eye or what is in front of you, be it in word or in deed.

I want to say, first of all, before I begin with what prompted me to write this, that those who see us, from other nations, have to understand or try, our anger and our reactions when we see, hear and read about the injustices done, the hate spoke, the desire for genocide against people chanted,

that it paints a vivid picture in our minds of what all the people of that group must be, especially when there is an ideology or a system of beliefs that sanction that hate. But it isn't just that,

you see, those of us who do react with strong anger, we do so because we DON'T, take our freedom for granted here, we are NOT apathetic, or complacent, we understand the importance of safeguarding freedom, not just for ourselves,

but for others. We get angry because we believe that freedom and human rights aren't just reserved for the precious few, for white people, for Americans, for men, but for every individual on this planet. For us, its not the obtaining goods that is the value of life,

maybe some of us learned that through hardships or loss, maybe some of us, like myself, learned that in a life of poverty [by American standards] and by suffering, though it may not be the same kind of suffering you may know, it is suffering nethertheless, it doesn't hurt less just because its not by the brute force of government or by the gun of the enemy, though those abuses Do happen here, to the poor and to non-whites and to women, but not on the same level as in other countries so,

for us, you see, we have comparisons, we KNOW, very brutally in front of us, when there is injustice. Suffering that is a daily reality for all around us is not the NORM here, not in the same way it is for many parts of the world, and what Does anger us,

is not you as much [excluding those of you who want to destroy all freedoms and rights and enslave the world from your ideals of hate] as much as its our anger

against fellow Americans and Europeans, though its projected onto those from other countries, Especially when they come to our shores and demand to instill their form of totalitarian beliefs/governments, etc.

so our anger is double sided, on one hand its towards the haters of freedom, of good, of fairness, of human rights,

and on the other, even more so, our anger is directed towards those who are either lazy or too self-centered to even care, not just about preserving their own freedom but they flat don't care about anyone else outside their circles.

IN that anger, it is very easy to see all injustice everywhere, the intent to cause harm, as the exact same. I am finding however, that it is not,

at least not across the board. I read a book today, one that I've had in my library for several years but just never got the chance to read it, and its not that I have not read similar case studies but this one, was a personal testimony, of a woman,

who was enslaved in Sudan, a Muslim woman, kidnapped during a raid on her village by Northern Sudanese Arab Muslims [she is Nuba tribe, black African and Muslim], raped, sold into slavery, her entire childhood,

gone. She was lucky to escape, in fact a miracle to be blunt about it, and not only was her testimony powerful in that it is one of hope and courage, but one of faith. And what really struck me was when in the first family that enslaved her, though they were Muslim [Arab] they refused to allow her to pray,

though they were of the same faith, she, because she was black African, was deemed not just inferior but not even human. Her father, had taught her that all people were equal, and while her memories became faint over the years with the realization that she'd be a slave forever [and many of these kids are slaves for the rest of their lives], she remembered that,

and she had to fight to pray, beaten, abused, raped, as a child, by those of her faith, by those who thought they were 'superior race' and 'superior Muslim',

well, it really opened my eyes, that not all Muslims, are these haters screaming kill all Jews or hating the West. In fact, this woman tells of one time, when the Americans were bombing Sudan [after the bombings of embassies in Somalia and the links to Osama], she smiled, she was so happy to know,

there was one bigger and stronger than her Arab masters. It made me think, very long and hard, how many more Muslims, are grateful for intervention, even if its not successful but they are just grateful, that someone in the world cares, that there is hope.

The realization really blew me away because we get this picture that ALL MUSLIMS are anti-west, are haters, etc. Because that is the view that many Muslims put out there...

there was in the book some hints to her being taught that others were bad, that Christians were extremists who kidnap children [and I'm sure there probably are, lets not forget colonization of Africa and the enslaving of Indian children in America, those who 'use' Christianity in the same way, to justify they claims to superiority over others, Especially in how most whites, claiming justification by God, to oppress African Americans and Latinos, Asians, women, the poor, etc., and in fact, many still do, and including those who profess this twisted Christianity and say, that their ordained right is to kill all Jews, which is just the most blasphemous distortion there is, Jesus was a JEW! Moses was JEW, Abraham was a JEW, and I read something else interesting too, though off topic, but the Arab peoples are also, from the semitic race, I read that the other day in a history of Biblical times book [in depth, archeology about all those civilizations back then, the lands, so forth, including the ancient beliefs of Persians and Assyrians, etc., even before the birth of Christ, very interesting stuff btw]

What struck me too was the amount of deception, taqiyya, used against her, this child, a Muslim lying to another Muslim, to enslave, terrorize, abuse, exploit,

and then, the shocker, those few Arab Muslims who, though they may have been just as responsible, there was one or two in the book mentioned, that did at least, try to intervene on this woman's behalf in regards to how she was treated, physically.

You see the haters and those who profess God, who are far from true religious, and those, who may not be as religious, maybe even nominal, but who have more faith, and what was surprising,

was how similar in ways her faith, was very much like Christians faith in God...and while I am no supporter of universalism, not in the way its promoted,

I will say, God knows whose hearts belong to Him, no matter where they are or what faith they are. That I did see,

and yes, they are a small fraction of the larger segment but they do exist. The book, is called

SLAVE, and its the true story of Mende Nazer.

Parts of it were hard to read because while I have never been a slave, I do know, what it is [like many children in this country] to live in violent homes, to live in fear, to feel stuck,

to want to run away and I did, at 16, I ran away. Paid for it, I did but point is, I know That desperation,

not on the same way though, at least I could go at least cry for help, though run aways in this country are exploited, especially girls...but at least, I knew, there was hope, some refuge,

nothing like being in another country or part of a country, hated because of being a different race/tribe or religion and a small child,

seeing loved ones butchered, raped in front of their eyes...by the ones who profess the same faith.

I think, it would be easier, at least, to cope, if these things were suffered at the hands of foreign enemies, at least, one could put it into perspective,

how one could do this when its your own, be it religion or race or gender [and gender yes, it happens and what is so tragic about it, is that there is this denial so its near impossible to get help because no one believes it happens, e.g. men being raped by other men in fraternities or women who have been sexually abused by women in authority, it happens, all the time but there is so much denial so there is this hesitance to even seek help or healing]

so on a small level, I suppose one can understand how awful that is because its the ones you identify with, that are oppressing you,

and when its religion, its worse because then its the struggle of, if your own faith oppresses you, then how does your God perceive you?

I never thought, a book written by a Muslim, would help bring some much needed healing and understanding, to some things I've struggled with, in my faith, God does work in mysterious ways,

and it softened, the fear. The fear and the anger, of years of seeing so much horror in women's faces who have fled abuse and horrid situations in other countries, and there was

comfort, reading how God, does reach, even in the most darkest of dungeons. No matter who it is, He is there.

I've read of course the stories of Muslims persecuting other Muslims and killing Muslims more than non-Muslims but never really grasped it, until I read this book...when I was involved in Islam for a short time, the oppression the family endured [other than the women, who dealt with it both by the men AND in the war] was by the enemies they were at war with at the time, who were Non-Muslim, and the attitudes yes, I can see are very different,

from the ones I saw in this book. Now whether that is a matter of race, I don't know, I have read there is, but its not something I've spent hours upon hours studying. My focus has always been women's rights.

This in no way means I will go soft on confronting the banality of evil or the misogyny, abuse towards women, yes, in Islam, though I am well aware of the reformist movement and the small moderate segments, and the texts they stand on, I am aware of those,

but this book, has helped me to see, that like everywhere, there are good people are bad people, we can't lump them all together in the 'other'.

This doesn't mean we should go soft and accomodating to PC either, to cultural relativism or naive when it comes to the use of deception, taqiyya, to deceive and to conquer, a tool of warfare,

but it does mean, that we must be careful, in how we confront...that we must seek discernment, wisdom, and stay true, to the cause of Human Rights, because while it may look like an army of 100,000 who all are in one mind to commit genocide and to spread hate,

there is always that remnant, maybe just one person, who is not of that mind.

The world fights with the ways of sinful ways, flesh destroying flesh, and this is why, when the hate begins with just a spark, it can turn into a wildfire destroying every single remain of human hair in its path.

Leaving not only destruction to the targeted but destruction to those who are part of the aggressor, because violence turns in on itself, it always does. Hate always does,

the 'other' then becomes more broad, becomes more than just 'them', it then becomes those with similar traits as 'them', those who have had ideas similar to 'them', those who might become like 'them',

and then, to protect what has been taken by violence due to the knowledge of just due retribution, the them becomes larger and more inclusive of those who were not even part of the intended target....

and like a cancer it spreads. And to ever rid of it, there must be a continuous purging which is extremely painful and long enduring...and even then, it still may not work, there still may be,

the wages of death.

Maybe this is why God says, "our weapons are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds...."

Our Weapons for Spiritual Warfare are Not Carnal; Nor are our Battles Against Flesh and Blood

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
—2 Corinthians 10:3-5
AND

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

For years, I warred by the flesh, meaning, in human ways, strength, and why?

Well, our reason says, we do so because to not war means to be complicit, and that is true to a point...but there is a very dangerous area we get into, when we take on the forces of evil,

because we become ensnared by those very same forces.

I did, and the thing is, if one is open any way whatsoever to the consciousness, we know it, but we rationalize it,

but, but, but, but

if we don't, evil will win.

There is a very fine line, in standing opposed to evil, and not becoming evil in the process.

And this is why its so contrary to human nature to even consider the choice to act in Love, and no I'm not talking about being passive, being a doormat, no,

that isn't Love, that simply is just being subjugated. Love, Love dares to rebuke, to confront, to stand,

even if, it means one's own harm or death.

AND it is not easy, it is, yes, A WARFARE, don't believe me, just try it for two weeks, I promise you,

you won't last three days. Just try to react in love every time someone is unkind,

you really see, the nature surge up, and not just react in kindness, but pray for those who are unkind,

it tears like no other. The first thing that comes up is, If I do this, I'll be a victim for ever,

but you see, its not about being a victim, because God has given us armor and He has given us His word, to do battle, against the very forces at work,

and prayer, is one of those.

Eph 6:10-17 (NIV) ...Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

This is real warfare, not some fantasy game or a two minute lesson, it takes several things,

one, is practiced obedience to God's Will, that means, every single day, putting God's will first, and its the hardest to do,

but not impossible and for this, relies on prayer, not ritual prayer, no, not empty words but a pouring out our heart before God, everything, casting it all onto Him, because that builds trust...strength, a relationship [its not about religion, its about a relationship],

and most of all, knowing the Word of God, because its in the Word, where the power lies...the double edged sword,

in the spiritual realm.

Mende, relied on prayer, not ritualistic prayer, not in the open public practices, but a true relationship with God, as a small child, she continued to reach out, in horrible circumstances, in pain, in fear, all alone,

and several times, God intervened, whether it was another child enslaved who shared kindness/or her to them, or a kind stranger even though among those who enslaved her, but in all sorts of ways,

God was there. In the most painful suffering, He was there for her...not that she was always strong or had faith, or didn't have despair,

or didn't contemplate taking her own life, because she did.

And in her case, I would definately say with boldness, if she had taken her life, it would have not been by her hand, no,

it would have been by being driven to it, an act of MURDER on the part of her captors and her abusers. God is merciful and sees it all, knows the heart and when a CHILD is driven to that kind of despair,

those who are causing it, yes, are committing a form of murder, slow and torturous but murder all the same.

But that is how Satan works, that is how evil works, its not just the human in front of us, there is a force working,

and I see this more and more as I read testimonies by people who are either fighting the banality of evil and indifference in the world OR those who are suffering because of it.

Trial by fire, oh how we fear it and detest it but I will say this, and I know a little, just a little, of what it is to go through it, it can either make you stronger in faith or it can destroy you...sometimes it can destroy you and then God one day, brings you back through His grace,

and you look back and see just how far you have fallen, but the more you are forgiven the more you love, AND the more you realize,

how Holy He is, not how holy you think YOU are.

And as I write this I know, one little thing, boom, I react...maybe not at first, but in time, and I see, more clearly,

personally I don't know how in the world, I went through those years, away from Him, I seriously don't, and when I read Mende's story I think,

what little it took me, to turn, but you see, unforgiveness does that, it defiles like no other, as does, deep hurts that have not been given over and healed,

we don't hand them over because of the loss of pride, or maybe because there is comfort in hate. Yes, we can comfort ourselves in hatred, it makes us feel just, makes us feel just to the point where,

it insulates us, so we think, from the need to turn to God, to accept salvation.

Why religion is so embraced because religion, works, the law, one truly doesn't have to go to God and turn over their hearts, oh no, they can keep the defiled heart, and just practice the habits of outward appearance of good moral living,

or standards or laws, what have you...its a whole other matter,

when one comes to God and says, I am a sinner and I can't do it alone and I need salvation.

That takes a humbling and a surrender, a complete surrender, to God and to His way of salvation, not through works or through hate or through self-crucifixion, but by simply,

accepting what Jesus did for us, drinking the punishment for every single one of us in our place, because no matter what amounts of works or good or sacrifice, it can't erase the stain of sin,

no way, we can't escape it, it separates us from God AND it makes impossible for any real relationship because God is Holy, Merciful and Loving but Holy, His Holiness would consume us in a flash of an eye,

He provided a way, its funny how I sought every other single way there is, and to realize, His way is just so easy, in comparison AND,

results in life, eternal life.

Grace, His Grace, and the more I see it, the more, I see His Grace for the entire world, not that He won't judge wrongdoing, because He will, but when He does it, He does it,

in His righteousness, not in our hate or our prejudice, and its a good thing. I am learning that He does work all things for the good for those who Love Him,

as He did for this woman, and not only that, He is working through her and others to reach so many about the horrors of the slavery that still exists in our world today. We have been redeemed,

yet we choose to remain slaves to sin, and we choose to cling onto the very hate and very sin,

that rationalizes and justifies the enslaving of others...in this world.

And yes, I'm becoming more bold about sharing, because there is this urgency, I really feel this urgency for the world, that the time is at hand...

IF you knew just how far I fell away, and just what He has done in just a matter of months, and just how much I remember from when I was, a strong Christian years and Years ago, how so much is coming back to me and I think,

what in the world happened to me, seriously? I know now, I'm seeing it, I'm seeing just how hurts and injustice work, to kill the spirit in people, to do such a level of harm that they are plunged into this darkness and abyss,

I was there...I WAS THERE,

I never want to go back there. And I feel the tug of sin pulling, that force and it is a warfare, and in this world, where indifference and apathy and unbelief is not only widespread BUT faith is hated, God is hated, Jesus is hated,

and the most cold blooded ideologies are not only embraced but celebrated, or the reliance on the 'self' and what is so funny about that,

is that, I relied on 'self' and well, its the quickest way to wind up in trouble. In more ways than one....IF, IF humans, were meant to not find God, to not find salvation,

why are we in the state we are in today, in this world? Why haven't we progressed? Why haven't we evolved from some debased cave man state? We are doing things in our world, even in the name of God, not just in one area either,

but throughout the entire world, that animals don't even do, and not only are we seeing a world that does,

but a world that doesn't even wince at the horrors.

Well anyway, all this just sort of poured out, I'm not taking any comments on this, and probably wrote this more, to speak to myself here...

but this I'll close with,

I'm finding more and more how good God is, how good and gracious and loving, truly LOVING, He is, and not just in empty words.

I really mean that...maybe by seeing the slow difference in my writing, maybe you can see His goodness too. [not that I won't ever snap or sin again...just saying]